When looking at me

Posted on

When looking at me I see

Flab everywhere

Cellulite

Stretchmarks

Big front teeth

Gap-tooth to boot

Flat ass

Big gut

Jiggly giggles and floppy dance moves

I love what I see

 

Keep your hate to yourself.

 

Thanks,

Me

Here

Posted on

Here I fastened myself to you
Turning grey skies blue
Suns and moons beam
Lost in a romantic misty dream
Here I undo the bond found
In fresh waters – love allowed
Far and away – cast asunder
Peace now reign fonder

While the practical exam was in session…

Posted on

image

That NABI swag

image

Candle lit film reviews

image

In the haze

image

Alive

Alone with Me

Posted on

I crave solitude.

Or maybe, anonymity.

Or perhaps I just need time to

image

stew in my thoughts.

Considering only my feelings,

How I see things and where I stand on certain – if not all – assertions, presumptions and guesses of

Life

Love

Peace and

War

Man! I crave solitude.

A place where I can be.

Where life knows balance

Peace

Harmony

Wisdom…

image

                           Happiness

While I was away

Posted on

Thinking in pictures
I steal moments of
Places
People
Life
Fleeting

Thinking in pictures
I imagine how different
Reality could be
Enhanced
Advancing
In trans
And vivid

Thinking in pictures
I play with
Mind
Frames
Texture
Pace and rhythm
Colourful filters

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

(Elements of me – fleeting life)

Perception counts

Posted on

image

It dawned on me, finally, that in order for my world to change I have to alter my perception of it.

image

My vision may be blurry, and my path unclear, but I can still see beauty I’ve conquered.

image

They skies will open up for me and I will soar.

Shameless slothful and loving it

Posted on

I spent today in my old boxers and a grimy T-shirt with rib sauce, salad dressing and cooking oil stains. (My lazy days are my favourite.)

Suffice to say, i ‘be not bathed and though the house and baby girl finally got clean,  I – like a pig in its pen – am happily dirty. My filth is my friend and we’re bonding.

I’m no lady, I’m no germophobe and I’m in no hurry to correct that either.

So here’s to all the sloths out there, enjoying a lazy day in their own odours and juices.

image

I dub today SLOTH Saturday 🙂

Holiday normalcy

Posted on Updated on

image

Princess gifts and royal smiles.

image

Finding discontinued favorites, now populating the store shelves.

image

Family connections and moments shared.

image

Big boy toys for the eternal little boy.

image

And meme messaging that spreads the cheer.

Untitled

Posted on

“A beautiful Nubian Queen.”
A stranger called me
Light skinned – golden yellow
Ruby red rouge and curved eye lashes
Long black weave on hair and a smile like magic
And she called me
No greetings passed between us
There was no time
Walking out into the parking lot, was I
And she, talking to a friend on her cellular phone
While my eyes searched for a shaded area, where I could enjoy a smoke in my peace
The loud screech of her voice startled me
“Oh-my-gawd, chomi! I just saw a beautiful Nubian Queen. She just walked passed me.”
I stopped in my tracks, befuddled to say the least
In my shame, all I could mutter was “Thank you”
Avoiding all eye contact
Compliments like this are not new to my ears
But hers was like a miracle
It reminded me what I – today –  chose to forget
And as we went our separate ways
She, on the phone with the stranger who now knew of me
And I, under the trees, to puff a bit of calm in me
I remembered her miracle
And in turn I found true beauty in nature…

image

image

image

Butterflies and heartburn

Posted on

“I’m not sure how it is for you, but confrontations and change give me butterflies and heartburn.” I say these words in my head as you look at me with longing.

If you could tap into my being, you would know this…

When faced with the difficulty of making a decision, one that could potentially drive me in the opposite direction of an intended destination – my vision blurs, mouth dries up and my stomach drops to the center of the earth.

To be clear, it’s not only my life’s change that plagues me. But, that what ever happens from this point on will affect you as well.

Putting it off – the crucial decision – prolongs my suffering. And I suffer sweetly, silently and with bravery…

I hope your suffering is not too unkind.

Sweat beads build up around my nose and upper lip, I brave the uncertainty of leaving all things hanging. The suspension; premeditated hesitation let’s me breath in the loss of control. In this moment of limbo, I prepare for failure. I prepare for an unimaginable success. I prepare for the off chance that nothing will change at all.

“What are you thinking now? Have you lost your faith in me? Have I lost your respect? Will I lose things – will I lose?”

And as I stew in the acid burn in my chest, all the while, feeling the gentle motion of unease in my belly – I succome to the nothingness of it all…

Worry breads nothing worth pursuing and hope breads worlds I’ve no wish to lose.

Deep breath – in and out.

The decision is made. Doubt creeps in to second guess my choice. And because I’ve no idea of the implications attached to it – just thoughts and imaginings, no real grasp of the changes – I take the nauseatingly enthusiastic step towards the unknown.

“I’ll to have to answer for this at some point,” I think to myself.

You’ve no confirmation just yet, but I suspect you’re aware of what I’m leaning towards.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow and perhaps in tomorrow’s tomorrow, I’ll have the words to express what’s written in my eyes.

“Forgive me. And thank you.”