Today is a particularly slow day for me at work. And I don’t mean slow as in I don’t have much to do, but I mean slow as in this day is taking forever to end.
I haven’t been in the best of moods lately. I can tell because I’ve had no urge to write, not even about how upset I’ve been the past week or so. I’m feeling better now… So I can admit my feelings to anyone, myself more especially.
What feelings, you ask!
Where do I start???
Ok, let’s start with me being homeless for a bit. My aunt, whom I’ve been staying with since I relocated from my home town (Mthatha) to Johannesburg, asked to leave. She said I was a distraction her son, my 12-year-old cousin’s studies. Cool beans, I have no problems with that… I mean even I would have rather chatted with my cousin than study at that age. Cool.
I just wish she hadn’t sent me a message via BBM, while I was at work. Giving me only three maybe four hours to find another place to stay. I don’t know, maybe I annoyed her and she didn’t tell me what I did to annoy her… But I still think there were better ways to handle the situation.
Anyhow, my Sisi (Nguni word for sister, and in my case, my cousin and twin all in one) was kind enough to house me until the end of the month, and I’ve already secured my own place with a deposit, so I’ll be out of her hair before she kicks me out as well.
And then I got scammed by a driving school. Long-story-short, these guys were supposed to give me ten driving lessons for R 600. Instead all I got was one lesson and whole lot of “sorry, You’ll have to reschedule.” So now I want my money back and these guys are still giving me the run-around.
I know what you’re thinking… What the hell? You’re 26 and you can’t drive?! Yeah well, I was kinda trying to correct that. Sue me!
Then there’s the irritating feeling of having an actual school girl crush on a guy at the office.
This must be the most disgusted I’ve been with myself for a long time!
I get that he’s an attractive fellow, polite and friendly but what in hell made my senses attach his demeanor to the butterfly causing, heart rate pounding, giggly blushing fool parts of my now utterly grossed out brain?!
I’m so not trying for an office romance… Or coffee shop romance or book shop romance or any other kind of romance there is.
Seriously, this is the last thing I need right now. I need to be focusing on impressing my bosses so they can turn this internship into a permanent job, and not on how good he smells when he passes by my desk, or how he smiles at me when he passes by my desk or how we talk about the weather or we spend our weekends or how tired we are or….
Yup, I’m screwed! Royally so too.
I need to get this crush out of my system.
And the fact that we exchanged numbers doesn’t help much. And my friends are ready to marry me off to the next guy who even looks at me… ’cause I’ve been single almost two years.
Two years, and I’m OK with that.
I love how I have no one to worry about except for my baby girl, mum and brother. And I love how uncomplicated my life is right now…
Anyhow, I think I’m doing a good job of keeping my cool. This is like a cloud or smoke… It’ll blow away, disappear and that’ll be that.
You know what I need?
I need to sit at the park with a book, a bottle of water, a bottle of wine some cheese cake and just mellow out. I need to find my inner peace again. Seriously, getting kicked out, being scammed and having a silly school girl crush are a total zen mood kill.