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jenny's lark

boy on a paddle board september 2014

Idiometry: n. the branch of language arts dealing with angles of conversation between parents and middle school children doing homework together, particularly if the homework is from 1100 Words You Need to Know.


Lesson 1: A Pig in a Poke.

“Ok, say you’re a duck hunter, and -”

“But dad won’t let me hunt because he doesn’t like guns.”

“Um, yeah. Well just pretend, ok? Pretend you’re a duck hunter, and you need a really well-trained dog – one who’ll respond to voice commands and always behave, like the Appersons’ dog. And you meet a man who says he has just the dog for you. And you pay him in advance, and then the dog he delivers to you is Charlie. That’s a pig in a poke.”

“Mom!!! I thought you loved Charlie!!!!”

“No, honey, I do love Charlie. But Charlie isn’t exactly … well, he’s…

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